It is amazing how I have managed to squeeze some time in to knit lately. Photo shoots actually are an ideal time to knit. There is a lot of hurry up and wait…wait on the lighting, wait on the polaroid, wait on the final bracketing. Last week was the perfect opportunity to swatch my handspun sweater.

I have settled on different kinds of yarn in a soft progression of varigation. They are mostly coordinating dyed stuff I just could not part with and a couple of skeins too small to sell.

The house is almost done. And It may almost be done through the end of the month (bringing my 2 month project into its 7th month). I don’t really want to blog about it….but let’s just say I am still washing my dishes by hand and Joe the Contractor now understands quite clearly what I expect from him.

The tile counter looks awesome

As does the fireplace.

Poor Joe. I have to admit he got hit with a little bit of my surly self. Yes I am ready to be done with the house, but I have been a little out of sorts. Not quite sure what…could just be some PMS among other things. But I have had a bit of the blues…no appetite…troubled sleep despite the valerian and melatonin. I have been meditating like crazy among other things just to get my focus off what feels like a hamster wheel. Monkey mind gone ape. I have been a bit of a wreck. No coffee for me thanks. Tried on Sunday and I nearly threw up.

So today I get news that a coworker’s husband had committed suicide over the weekend. She and I were in the middle of a couple of projects. Of all the folks I have to collaborate with she is my favorite to work with. She is such a level headed solid up beat woman. That time the day labor guy broke the $1200 piece of art on a photo shoot…she was the voice of reason. I look to her as an example of how to gracefully handle my job frustrations. Because she is so together…I want to be her when I grow up. I can not imagine her with such deep grief. They had been married forever, 2 handsome successful sons.

Today I see how incidental my monkey mind is. My shit seems so whiny. It is easy to attach my blues to this heavy tomb like feeling that is floating about the office. I was a little surprised by my own tears. But when you can’t quite pin down what the issue is, I am thankful for any kind of release. The big dogs are bringing the grief counselors in this week, I see my own tomorrow.